Testament of Youth

How I Became A Man! - by George!
(of Culture Club)

I was born on the 14th June 1961 in Finglus, Southern Ireland, but we moved to Eltham in England straight afterwards and lived in a cul de sac in South London.

I spent a lot of my time at home with my mother and father, four brothers and a sister. At one time my mother used to look exactly like Bette Lynch in 'Coronation Street'. She had bleached hair, a huge stick?on bun wig and all the same sort of clothes as well She looked hideous. But, at the time, I thought she looked brilliant. In fact, I wouldn't go anywhere near her until she'd got her make-up on.

I can remember my first day at school. I hated it. I hated being taken away from home and put amongst all these crowds of people. I still hate crowds.

They used to have a big bucketful of toys at school which we were supposed to play with. I didn't play with them though, because it seemed so childish to me.

One person I particularly disliked at school, apart from the teachers, was a horrible Chinese boy who had a snotty nose. He used to make me feel quite ill.

Half way through the morning, we used to have a big crate of bottles full of either orange juice or milk. Just about everybody used to get the orange juice because the milk was so nasty. But I always got left with the milk. You see, I just couldn't bother to make the effort to run over to the crate and work my way through the crowd, so I ended up with the left-overs.

I've always preferred to hang out with girls rather than boys, especially when they are young enough not to be too aware of their sexuality. Girls tend to be more innocent than boys and also prettier. I felt that I had more in common with them - and you can make what you want of that!

When I was really young we all used to go to Church on Sundays. But then, one day, my little brother took his trousers down in the church and so we never went back again. I was very pleased about that.

In the early 'seventies, when I was still in junior school, I started to get into Marc Bolan. I loved glam, and I went really mad. I dressed up like Marc Bolan because I was so much in love with him. I grew my hair long, though my mother wouldn't let me put it in corkscrews.

My secondary school was at Eltham Green. It was really horrible because kids at that age seem to get really cocky and violent.

I started going round with people who were quite a bit older than me. I had a girlfriend called Tracy, and another one called Ruth. Ruth and I went out together for two years. I hated her. I used to throw buckets of water over her and we used to stick Mars bars in each other's hair. I don't know why I stuck with her. I suppose it's like getting married. Lots of people stick with people they hate when they get married.

I remember getting into trouble at school after I had my hair cut into a wedge and dyed orange. The Headmaster said 'Who do you think you are - a belisha beacon?' I don't know what he was complaining about. He used to wear a gown and a board with a tassel!

The only teacher I really liked was the Art Teacher. He was a real lunatic. He'd come into a lesson and drop plates on the floor. Then he'd say 'Now, I don't want you to draw any still lifes or nuns. I want real art". So I'd draw nudes. I was really good at it. I also used to draw Marc Bolan - not in the nude though. That would have been sacrilege.

I was always getting into argument with the other boys in school. They all used to like playing football and I always did my best to get out of it by bringing notes from my Mum every day. They used to say "You're a poof if you can't kick a ball."

Eventually I got expelled from school because I refused to be caned for taking time off. Then I got a job working in a shop in the King's Road.

Looking back over my youth there's just one thing that I really regret growing out of, and that is the lack of sexual feelings that I had as a child. When I was really young I didn't have any at all and I wish I still didn't have any because they get in the way.

When you grow older everything is spoiled by feelings of guilt. You have to try not to hurt anybody emotionally, and if you do, you end up feeling guilt about it. You blame yourself.

I hate adult responsibility. I hate hurting others. That's the one thing that really worries me. Now we even get girls who come to our gigs and start crying. That worries me too.